I sensed something in the air as I was discussing my feelings with a friend about the loss of my son. My friend lost their child to an ectopic pregnancy, but they thought that their loss was somehow less severe, even though they also experienced the anguish of losing their baby.
I know so li little about either ectopic and molar pregnancy apart from them being both medical emergencies that can occur during pregnancy
​
Baby LOSS
From an early age, we have a desire to have children, it is build into every cell of our DNA. We sense an intense impulse to be a parent. Even from the first spark of life we feel a overwhelming need to protect.
​​
Even this desire may not be enough as nature can be so cruel and extinguish life at the beginning of the pregnancy. Some people could say it not child loss or try to rationalise it , but this doesn't lessen the sadness we experience. In our minds and heart we know it was life and we feel the grief of loss
​
One of the difficulties is that many people, including parent may not of heard about Ectopic or molar pregnancy before, so finding anything about this loss is very difficult. It is more than likely, that the reader has only read this article because they has suffered from the loss.
​​
​​
ECTOPIC PREGNANCY
Having children is a beautiful thing but at times nature can play the nastiest of tricks, Sometime the fertilised egg doesn't implant itself in the uterus but instead outside, frequently, in the fallopian tubes. As there isn't enough room or supportive tissue the
There isn't enough room or supportive tissue in any of these places for a pregnancy to grow. The organ it is contained in will eventually rupture as the foetus grows. The mother's life may be at jeopardy as a result of the excessive bleeding. An ectopic pregnancy in the traditional sense does not result in a live birth.
​​
Partners can also be impacted by ectopic pregnancy. As well as trying to process what has happened for themselves, they can at the same time, be trying to grieve the loss of their baby, while the mother may undergo and cope with emergency surgery and the loss of a fallopian tube. This can be such a physical and emotional ordeal.​​
​​​
​
Everyone tells me how lucky I am to be alive. But I’ve lost my baby and I just feel so empty.
​
MOLAR PREGNANCY
A molar pregnancy (sometimes called a hydatidiform mole) happens when there is too much or too little genetic material in a fertilised egg and a baby can’t develop. Clusters of abnormal cells or water filled sacs may develop in the womb instead.
If you are going through molar pregnancy at the moment, we’re really sorry. We know it has the same impact as any other type of baby loss. Most people don’t know what a molar pregnancy is and how it might affect you physically and emotionally. This can make dealing with your loss and the follow up treatment even harder to cope with. There are charities and organisations who can support you
​
​
.As a couple, we attended the online molar pregnancy support group. Attending helped us navigate our rollercoaster of emotions after the news of our miscarriage and molar pregnancy. Others also shared their personal journeys and feelings. It was a relief to know that how we felt was valid and normal.​
​
The majority of people are either ignorant of the medical emergency or have never heard of it before, despite the fact that ectopic and moral pregnancies are fundamentally different, but they have some pre-conceived myths around these conditions.
​
​IVF and FERTILITY TREATMENTS
I'm not even sure where to begin, so this is a little more of a footnote. The daily anxiety and disappointment around the need to have a baby, and the endless tests and 'Frankenstein' like experiment in the hopes of seeing two lines on a pregnancy test, only to have it snacked away, sometime repeated must be soul-destroying for a parent.
The content blame game on relationships or 'it must be me' must become overwhelming and a challenge for any family ​​