As Christmas Edge Closer

As the Christmas period begins to edge closer, I start to feel aches and pains. my back, it feels like it is beginning to break, my chest is starting to pull tighter and I start to gasp for air. I know its not a heart attack but instead my heart starting to break all over again. Every time I walk into a room, I just want to shout his name.... my baby has gone and why oh why am I left here< I should of been able to stop this from happening, no-one knows the hurt I feel in my sole, and why would they care, they have their own little problems